Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
I gave up alcohol last year. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute chicken goes cockadoodle do prostute goes any cock will do.
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
They say whisky and petrol don’t mix. They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.
Yo mamma's so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!