A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”