What repulsive thing can be found in a nigger's clothes? The nigger.
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Gays don't fart - their asses fetch a sigh.
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!". The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!".
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
Why did god make beer? So the Irish would not take over the world.
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!" Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. "How do you know this, Sister?" "My Mother Superior told me so." "But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?" "Don’t be ridiculous – of course I have never taken alcohol myself" "Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life" "How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!" "I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know." The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. "Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?" "Oh no! It’s not that Nun again is it?"
Q: How do you eat a frog? A: You put one leg behind each ear.
Q: What's all over a clean nose? A: Fingerprints.