Best jokes ever

A gorilla walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer. The bartender gives him a mug and says, "that'll be five bucks." As the gorilla reaches for his pocket, the bartender adds, "you know, we don't usually get many gorilla customers in here." The gorilla shrugged and replies, "at five bucks a beer, it's no wonder . . ."
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More jokes about: alcohol
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
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More jokes about: sport
What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Drunks don’t have to go to the meetings.
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More jokes about: alcohol
A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.
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More jokes about: disgusting, age, old people
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’
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More jokes about: sport
How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
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More jokes about: animal
Yo momma’s so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’
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More jokes about: sport
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
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More jokes about: sport
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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More jokes about: animal