Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr.pepper.
A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter. "Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you." "What, Eric?" says the horse.
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear? Data transfer.
An old man asks a blond: If a guy would try to rape you, will you scream for help? If he can’t manage me by himself off course!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.