My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy at Shiloh.” “Mine,” boasts another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.” “I’m the only soldier in my family,” confessed vet number three, “but if my great grandfather was living today he’d be the most famous man in the world.” “Really? What’d he do?” his friends wanted to know. “Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old.”