Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
Q: How do you blindfold a Gook? A: You use dental floss.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!