Yo Mama has touched more knobs then the gas man.
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
Q: How do you blindfold a Gook? A: You use dental floss.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.