Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like?
A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you.
Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."