Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
Boy: you left this at my house last night Girl: that aint mine Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
Yo momma’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman.
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"