Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
Cause they don't give a crap!
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.
See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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