Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but... I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.
Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken... My heart is not made in China!
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop. The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
A blonde asks a bypasser: Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is? It's on the other side. Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...