I have found a new girlfriend, so I have introduced her to my grandmother, because the is the oldest and very clever. We have spoken a little bit and so on. The next day I have asked my grandmother, what she thinks of my new girlfriend, she said only: Johny, Johny, what shall I tell you, again, you have praid not much...rnrn
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Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable?
A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father.
He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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WikiLeaks are just Chuck Norris' Thoughts.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar.
It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."