Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.
When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,”
So they turned around and went home.