What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not.
Now shut up and comb your face."
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’
Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’
Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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