Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Another car speeds by and hits the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrive, the lawyer is complaining bitterly. ‘Officer, look what they’ve done to my car!’ he whines. ‘You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick,’ replies the officer. ‘You’re so worried about your stupid car, you haven’t even noticed your left arm was ripped off!’ ‘Oh my God!’ replies the lawyer. ‘Where’s my Rolex?’
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa. He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room. The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point: Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
I saw the priest watching pornography. Should I get jelous? -Johnny, 11 years old.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.