Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Why do nigger's have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
Help me, please.
I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
But tomorrow morning I will be dead.
You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow.
But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.