Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move.
The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
My husband has a split personality – and I hate both of them.
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.