The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet? A: Pushing his luck.
Want a taste of my hanging sausage?
How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”