Best jokes ever

What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
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More jokes about: men, women, work
What can save a dying blonde? Hair transplants.
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What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
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I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
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More jokes about: men
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory? A: She threw away all of the "W's".
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
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How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.
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More jokes about: sport, wife