Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.