What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
About 40 lb.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
Vote:
There was a crooked woman,
who ran a crooked mile.
She found a crooked Weiner,
who always made her smile.
She belongs in prison,
for she is just a crook.
And if you don't believe me,
you can read it in her book.
Vote:
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed?
Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Harry is better at sex than anyone he know.
Now all he needs is a partner.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!
Vote: