ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.
‘Why don’t you go home to your wife. Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’ Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’
A drunk phones the police to report that thieves have been in his car. ‘They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,’ he cries out… ‘Oh hang on. I’m in the back seat.’
A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
Q: Whos the richest man in Mexico? A: The person who gets the penny.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...
How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.