Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Teacher: “How do you spell “dog”?” Boy: “D, o, g, enter.”
Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet? A: Pushing his luck.
Why did the blonde have square boobs? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..