Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts !
What's the definition of a poofter? A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
It’s night and a drunk is crawling along the pavement looking for something. A passer-by offers to help and asks what’s missing. The drunk replies that he’s lost his watch. ‘And where abouts did you lose it?’ asks the passer-by. ‘About half a mile up the road,’ replies the drunk. ‘So why are you doing down here?’ asks the passer-by. The drunk replies, ‘Down here the lighting is better.’