I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
Always remember: There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!