Best jokes ever

The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater? A plain clothes police dog!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop". 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, doctor
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, marriage
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, marriage, baby
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, kids, life, bar