Best jokes ever

A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
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Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.
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Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
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More jokes about: life, time
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Vote: has 27.61 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, Valentines day, chocolate, morbid
Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
Vote: has 27.60 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 27.58 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Vote: has 27.55 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, money, racist
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts !
Vote: has 27.48 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What's the definition of a poofter? A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
Vote: has 27.36 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
It’s night and a drunk is crawling along the pavement looking for something. A passer-by offers to help and asks what’s missing. The drunk replies that he’s lost his watch. ‘And where abouts did you lose it?’ asks the passer-by. ‘About half a mile up the road,’ replies the drunk. ‘So why are you doing down here?’ asks the passer-by. The drunk replies, ‘Down here the lighting is better.’
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol