Best jokes ever

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
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More jokes about: life
What’s sicker than driving over a baby? Skidding.
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More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
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More jokes about: blonde
A blonde keeps checking her mail box. A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery. ‘No,’ she replies. ‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’
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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!
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How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
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More jokes about: alcohol, business, bar, alcohol, bartender
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.
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Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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More jokes about: marriage, romantic, chocolate, memory
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
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More jokes about: blonde, food