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What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say? ‘Having a wonderful time. Where am I?’
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It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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An old miser comes into the bank with a huge bag of coins. ‘Gracious,’ says the bank teller. ‘Did you hoard all that yourself?’ ‘No,’ replies the miser. ‘My sister whored most of it.’
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I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
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Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
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An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
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What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.
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How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
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More jokes about: sport, golf, wife, game, god