Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"
Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!