Yo momma’s so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class.
Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad.
To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him.
"Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military.
The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military.
The Marine Corps is a cult.
The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'."
So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?"
Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation.
Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other."
By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did.
"What did you do in the military, dad?"
"Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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