Best jokes ever

What is black and white and red all over? (A panda bear with a sunburn!)
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Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
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How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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More jokes about: men, relationship
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. Squash
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Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
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This guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up 10 glasses and start filling them up with beer. So the bartender starts filling the glasses up with beer, and the man is right behind him drinking them straight down. The bartender says, "hay buddy what's your hurry?" The man replies, "if you had what I have you would do the same thing." The bartender backs up and says, "what do you have?" The man anwers, "about 75 cents!"
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More jokes about: alcohol
Yo mamma’s so big, when people see her they start screaming: “That’s a huge bitch!”
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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
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More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
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More jokes about: black humor, math
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."
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More jokes about: military