Best jokes ever

Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
This guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up 10 glasses and start filling them up with beer. So the bartender starts filling the glasses up with beer, and the man is right behind him drinking them straight down. The bartender says, "hay buddy what's your hurry?" The man replies, "if you had what I have you would do the same thing." The bartender backs up and says, "what do you have?" The man anwers, "about 75 cents!"
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
Vote: has 24.08 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
Vote: has 23.90 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, math
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."
Vote: has 23.63 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
What do you give the princess who has everything? A seatbelt and an airbag.
Vote: has 23.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 23.34 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, phone
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote: has 23.33 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, baby
David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Dan: I don’t know. Why? David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
Vote: has 23.32 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 23.11 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, death, women, sex, disgusting