Why did the football coach flood the pitch? Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
Two men were sitting at the top floor of the Empire State Building. One man says to the other.. "You know, if you jump out the window here, the force of the wind will blow you back in through the window on the 90th floor.." The other man says "fuck off, you're jokin aren't u?" The 1st man says "No, here.. I'll prove it" so he stands on the window ledge and jumps out.. and comes back in thru the 90th floor window.. The 2nd man says.. "That was just a one off" So he does it again.. and comes thru on the 90th floor.. runs back up and says "See, im telling the truth" The 2nd man says "Wow, im gonna do it then" he stands on the window ledge, jumps out and falls to his death. The barman says to the first man.. "You know, you're a cunt when you're drunk superman.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. Squash
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
What’s black on the outside and green on the inside? A nigger that just ate some spinach.
Born free. Taxed to death. A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present. He points out a bottle of perfume and asks
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big? A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.