Best jokes ever

A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
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Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
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Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
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John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
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Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
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Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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