A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...