How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton! Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!" "What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine. "Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer. "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck? It was not enough sand...
What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.