He drank like a fish.
Which would have been okay if he’d drunk what the fish drinks.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she walked in front of the television I missed three commercials.
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
I gave up alcohol last year.
It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life?
Third grade.
What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear?
Data transfer.
Why did the blonde roast a chicken for three and a half days?
The instructions said ‘cook it for half an hour per pound’, and she weighed 125.
My wife and I have a joint account.
I deposit money and she withdraws it.
I can tell when my wife drinks.
Her face gets blurred.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.