Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin?
A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident?
The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’
Lawyer: ‘Absolutely.
What’s the other question?’
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter.
A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
What do you give a cat for its birthday?
A catologue.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.