Best jokes ever

What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."
Vote: has 15.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, age, political
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
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More jokes about: kids
Football match Romania – Russia. Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia: “You’ve won! Stop. Congratulations! Stop. Oil! Stop. Gas! Stop...
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More jokes about: sport, soccer
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer SMACK! Anna:OW! Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna? Anna: Andy punched me! Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy? Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
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More jokes about: sport
Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
Vote: has 15.07 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, black humor, death, sex
"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"
Vote: has 14.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
Vote: has 14.82 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
Vote: has 14.76 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? (A molar bear!)
Vote: has 14.74 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.
Vote: has 14.74 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, food