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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs. A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy. And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds. I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse." Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain." Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
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More jokes about: racist, money, political, ethnic
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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More jokes about: men, celebrity, work, family, friendship
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
Vote: has 12.09 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, hospital, baby
‘If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.’ John Paul Getty A woman rings her insurance company. ‘Our house burnt down and I want £100,000,’ she says.
Vote: has 12.04 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights? High five!
Vote: has 11.95 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
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More jokes about: animal
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Vote: has 11.94 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby
The monitor is up on blocks.
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More jokes about: IT
How did the blonde burn her nose? Bobbing for chips.
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More jokes about: blonde