Best jokes ever

Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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has 80.15 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
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has 80.15 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. ”Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ”I’ve found my ball!” he announces. ”After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,” Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?” ”What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!” ”And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says. ”I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”
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has 80.15 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: golf, lawyer, money
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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has 80.15 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: business, life, student, women
On the Internet you can be anything you want. It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
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has 80.15 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: internet, life, stupid
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.
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has 80.15 % from 2653 votes. More jokes about: gay, wife
What do you call a fat Chinese prostitute? Chun Ki Ho.
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has 80.15 % from 937 votes. More jokes about: racist
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it? He said he'd offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. The butcher had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
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has 80.14 % from 409 votes. More jokes about: sex
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