Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.