Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!