The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.
Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?