Best jokes ever

Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
Vote: has 78.76 % from 315 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
Vote: has 78.76 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Vote: has 78.75 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby
In "I Am Legend", Will Smith survived alone for years. 24 hours after a woman shows up, he dies. AND that girl stole his bacon.
Vote: has 78.75 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, celebrity, death, women
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind? "Well, at least I'm not black."
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More jokes about: racist
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite." "OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?" "Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her drivers license. It's like a report card; it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?" "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce." "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?" "Because you got an F in sex.
Vote: has 78.73 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, age, divorce, sex
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Vote: has 78.73 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Vote: has 78.73 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Vote: has 78.70 % from 231 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death