What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.