Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.