Man: "How old is your father?" Boy: "As old as me." Man: "How can that be?" Boy: "He became a father only when I was born."
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some. "How hard is it?" she asked. "About as hard as my dick," he replies. To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.