Best jokes ever

Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
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Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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More jokes about: fat, women, friendship
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
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Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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More jokes about: women, men, dirty
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
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More jokes about: animal, doctor, mother in law
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, animal
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also. 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free. 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.
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More jokes about: old people, age, food, life
In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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