Best jokes ever

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Vote: has 75.86 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, age, dad, programmer, computer
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Vote: has 75.85 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Vote: has 75.82 % from 675 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, math
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
Vote: has 75.79 % from 170 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, math, time, time
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!" Officer says "Yes." Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture.
Vote: has 75.78 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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More jokes about: black humor
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy.“
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, food
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music