Best jokes ever

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, ginger, desert island, travel, stupid
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Vote: has 75.38 % from 723 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, Facebook, insulting
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near  the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.  He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy.  "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Vote: has 75.33 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, phone, car, sex
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
Vote: has 75.33 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, geek
Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orleans thought Katrina came back to finish the job.
Vote: has 75.33 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, weather, insulting
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Vote: has 75.32 % from 1421 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Vote: has 75.29 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
Vote: has 75.28 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, genie, black people, money, death
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
Vote: has 75.28 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, animal
Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.
Vote: has 75.28 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty